OCD. To me, these three daunting letters used to stand for something else.
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. Constantly worrying, constantly overthinking. What if? What if not?
Every moment of every day, my mind was running. Overthinking was my thing. And it was a thing I was really good at. Over the years, I had programmed my mind to automatically think of and plan for THE WORST possible outcome in any and every situation. I would plan and execute ways to deal with the worst thing that may happen. Do you know how TIRING that is? I used to sleep, A LOT. Partly because the antidepressants I was taking made me so tired, but also because that was basically the only time I wasn’t worrying.
There’s nothing I can do about my overactive mind and overthinking. It’s a part of who I am. It’s in my blood, its how my brain was wired to work.
But, there is something I can do about WHAT I am thinking about. This past year, my OCD has been so much easier to deal with. I find that the thoughts that used to consume me, don’t have an effect on me so much anymore. I have found a way to use all of this energy, and to transform it into beauty.
If you would have asked me two years ago if I ever would want to start my own business, the answer would be FLAT OUT NO. No overthinking needed. I was never going to be a business owner. Its too much stress, too hard to handle. I couldn’t do it.
WRONG. I was so wrong. And I keep proving myself wrong every day. In a good way!
Today, I am a business owner. I have created a brand. I create every day. I obsess about my creations, and I use my obsessive creative thoughts to fuel my business.